“But I do not want this”
September 22nd, 2008 by Rev. Aquinas Guilbeau, O.P.
The second lesson in today’s Office of Readings has been a favorite of mine for years. In it we glimpse the fiery passion that should inflame the heart of every pastor.
Because his monastic prayer and priestly office produces in him an unquenchable thirst for souls, St. Augustine finds himself in an apparent clash of freedoms–that of the preacher against that of the sinner. But Augustine knows that there exists no real clash here. Instead, he understands that in the act of preaching the graced freedom of the preacher confronts the false freedom of the sinner, an encounter in which truth is served and the freedom of both preacher and sinner is increased. Grasping the real dynamics of this confrontation, Augustine teaches that the preacher must preach even against the protests of the sinner. Truth remains on the preacher’s side, giving him the authority to intervene even when unwanted. What’s more, says Augustine, the preacher’s authority is modeled by the very author of the truth he preaches. Despite the protests of sinners, Christ willingly died for them and continues to desire their salvation.
From Sermon 46, dubbed “On Pastors,” no. 14-15:
The straying sheep you have not recalled; the lost sheep you have not sought. In one way or another, we go on living between the hands of robbers and the teeth of raging wolves, and in light of these present dangers we ask your prayers. The sheep moreover are insolent. The shepherd seeks out the straying sheep, but because they have wandered away and are lost they say that they are not ours. ”Why do you want us? Why do you seek us?” they ask, as if their straying and being lost were not the very reason for our wanting them and seeking them out. ”If I am straying,” he says, “if I am lost, why do you want me?” You are straying, that is why I wish to recall you. You have been lost, I wish to find you. ”But I wish to stray,” he says; “I wish to be lost.”
So you wish to stray and be lost? How much better that I do not also wish this. Certainly, I dare say, I am unwelcome. But I listen to the Apostle who says: Preach the word; insist upon it, welcome and unwelcome. Welcome to whom? Unwelcome to whom? By all means welcome to those who desire it; unwelcome to those who do not. However unwelcome, I dare say: “You wish to stray, you wish to be lost; but I do not want this.” For the one whom I fear does not wish this. And should I wish it, consider his words of reproach: The straying sheep you have not recalled; the lost sheep you have not sought. Shall I fear you rather than him? Remember, we must all present ourselves before the judgment seat of Christ.
I shall recall the straying; I shall seek the lost. Whether they wish it or not, I shall do it. And should the brambles of the forests tear at me when I seek them, I shall force myself through all straits; I shall pull down all hedges. So far as the God whom I fear grants me the strength, I shall search everywhere. I shall recall the straying; I shall seek after those on the verge of being lost. If you do not want me to suffer, do not stray, do not become lost. It is not enough that I lament your straying and loss. No, I fear that in neglecting you, I shall also kill what is strong. Consider the passage that follows: And what was strong you have destroyed. Should I neglect the straying and lost, the strong one will also take delight in straying and in being lost.
